apnitohnikalpadi – Of Sun and Sand

New girl in the city – Chandler, AZ

Date: 02/28/21
Venue: Chandler, AZ

2:48 AM: I opened my eyes to search for the source of light/noise that woke me up. After having found no robber/alien, I decided to go back to sleep.
After a failed attempt, I opened WhatsApp. My school friends had just discovered celery juice, ayurvedic medicines, yoga, and the incessant need to reduce weight and be fit. I looked at my growing waistline and decided to do something about it as well. #noteToSelf: Change eating and drinking habits.

3:45 AM: Sleep had given me a slip. I decided to take life into my own hands and read a few chapters from Mrs.Funnybones instead of wasting time ‘trying’ to sleep.

4:45 AM: After reading a few chapters, I stopped to think. I realized that I had never stopped to think about how life has changed or the magnitude of that change. Chandler has made me a daughter-in-law and a wife. I made a quick list of changes in different aspects of life –

Amazing Love/Married life
Marriage is what brought me here. We have come to realize the beauty of marriage. We have seen love, trust and our relationship grow every day.

Questionable Social Life
It feels like 2nd grade all over again when I had moved to a new school and none would play with me! Jokes aside, I miss the social life, bar-hopping, feeling of belongingness, fun, and generally…knowing people. I miss my dance life! I miss throwing KJo style parties for 100 people – partly because of Covid and partly because the husband and I are at least 4 years away from knowing 100 people in the area. At present, the struggle to have a social life is real.

Strenuous Job hunt
I don’t know where this is going. Only the Gods know the bigger picture.

5:15 AM: My eyes felt swollen. I decided to go back to bed, for real this time. As I laid down, I looked at the husband. He opened his eyes and the following conversation happened (that he has no recollection of) –

Husband: Why aren’t you asleep?
Me: I don’t know. I am trying to go back to sleep now.
Husband: Why don’t you get up and do something fruitful?
I was amazed at my husband’s thoughtful suggestion at the unGodly hour. I knew that the apartment was a mess but I was hoping he wouldn’t ask me to do the unthinkable at this time.
Me: Do you have any ideas for me? I just read a couple of chapters.
Husband: Why don’t you apply and study?
Me: What? At 5 AM? But I want to sleep! Good night.
Both of us fell asleep. #noteToSelf: Never engage in a conversation when the husband is half-asleep. He does not remember and you get furious!

10:00 AM: I woke up swollen. My eyes felt like boiled potatoes. The husband was already on a family call. I joined in.

11:00 AM: I told the husband about last night’s half-asleep conversation. I also announced that we should be cognizant of our eating habits or may soon need karela juice and intermittent fasting to shed the extra pounds. He laughed the entire conversation off.
Brunch happened.

Noon: We decided to take an impromptu trip. We look for nearby places to visit.

12:10 PM: The much-needed cleaning spree began. I am sorry, were we not going on a trip?

2:00 PM: We left for the half-day trip.

3:00 PM: We reached Saguaro lake. Kayaks, picnic tables, barbecues, wind in the hair, and barbecues were an integral part of the scene. All we had was a packet of chips. We decided to eat barbecue-flavored chips to match up. We were not prepared to party here. #noteToSelf: Be better prepared next time.

3:55 PM: Having skipped lunch, we rushed to the only restaurant at the lake and got ourselves a table. The wind was chilly (hoodies on) and the food was yummy (french fries a must!).

5:30 PM: On our way back home, we took a detour to Fountain hills. The fountain did not go off since wind speed was higher than 10 miles per hour. The view and serenity compensated for that.

6:30 PM: We called it a day.

I realized the day is how Chandler has been. I did not know what to expect after Seattle. Life had thrown enough lemons my way. Chandler has been like a lake in the middle of a desert, a breath of fresh air and wind in my dry hair. It has been like a Cosmopolitan lined with lemon with a twist. It has been surreal, amazing, and unexpected. It has been fabulous and beautiful in very different ways. Life here has been something beyond my imagination. Here’s me hoping that life gets better in the Social life and job-hunt realm soon.

More to come.

#lessonsOfLife 2020: A blessing in disguise

I apologize for interrupting the travelogue to write this customary year-end #lessonsOfLife series. Of course, this year has been unprecedented. No clue if anyone saw it coming.
Date: 01/02/2021

12:00 AM: A teardrop rolled down my cheek. Tony was no more. I lost it. I looked at the boys and said, “I can’t believe this is happening! What do you mean by Iron man dies at the end of the End game?!”
The boys and I had been binge-watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe marathon over the past week or so. The year ended with Avengers: Endgame. The order of the movies is as below. Yes, we watched all 22-23 of them with full concentration. We ace all Marvel universe related quizzes now.

12:20 AM: We are another glass of wine down. I find it difficult to digest the fact that Iron Man will cease to exist in the universe going forward. I’d found him the coolest.
We open the sofa chaise to take out the bedding. The screws had fallen. I am sorry, but we just brought you home! How can something so new go bad so quickly?!

12:30 AM: N was inside the chaise with an electric drill and a bunch of screws. Ankit and I took turns to hold up the chaise and run for supplies.
It was 12:30 AM. It was a new year, a new beginning, and a new blah blah! This was not supposed to happen. Ordinarily, I would have been too busy dancing away the new year’s night with my loved ones for the sofa chaise to go wrong. Welcome to adulthood, I thought.
We installed a quick fix and moved on with our lives. If that is any indication of how the rest of the year is going to be.
Hoping the AFW guy comes soon enough to fix it. I am still sitting on the same sofa chaise to write this post btw.

1:00 AM: I reflected on the past year. In hindsight, 2020 has been a blessing in disguise for me.

The arranged marriage train had finally stopped at the Baroda junction, and we’d tied the knot. 2020 marks the first complete year of us being married. Of course, long-distance was very difficult – the time difference, the yearning, the missing, the misunderstandings, the arguments, the love. Nevertheless, we survived. I am happy that I could move back and live a married life with a wonderful man.
At Starbucks, several colleagues had some international exposure in business. For example, they had worked in either Asia, Europe, or both. I always wanted an opportunity to learn more about business in other markets. As luck would have it, I got the opportunity to learn business around South-east Asia at Visa. I felt lucky to have received international exposure at that level.
I’d never met someone who’d gone to school at the IITs/IIMs. I always wanted to learn about their perspectives. Thanks to Visa, I had this incredible opportunity to work exclusively with folks who went to school at both IIT and IIM. I worked with and learned from the crème de la crème of the industry (quite literally). Such talented folks, all of them. I felt blessed. You learn a lot from a room where everyone else is a lot smarter than you are. I could not have asked for more.
Infosys made me step out of the house at the age of 21. I hadn’t had a lot of time to spend with my parents ever since. The pandemic hit soon after I moved back to India. Both of my parents had to work from home as well. The lockdown gave us a lot of time together as a family. I will forever be grateful for that family time.
A few minutes later, I drifted off to sleep.

I believe I learned the hardest lessons of my life in 2020 –
(1) Never take anything/anyone for granted.
(2) Enjoy every moment and be present. You never know which cosmopolitan at your favorite Social is your last one.
(3) Don’t be rude to anyone. You may not get a chance to apologize.
(4) Never take your paychecks for granted. Be glad that you have a job.
(5) Never take your health for granted. Who knew cold could be fatal?
(6) Never underestimate the importance of your hobby. Develop it.
(7) There’s no time like family time.
(8) Marriage needs work. Long-distance is tough.
(9) Life is tough. Nobody said it was easy.
(10) Recognize when people need you. Be there for them.
(11) A few words of kindness go far.
(12) If you have abundant, share. Support small businesses, non-profits, orphanages, assisted living, etc. They need us during tough times.
I believe surviving 2020 made me stronger. It gave me confidence that I can stand up the 8th time after falling seven times. It taught me that miracles happen. Most importantly, it taught me to have faith – a concept that was lost on me before.

2021 starts with fixing what is broken – sofa chaise, laptops, self, etc., and a more serious job hunt. 2020 brought quite a few surprises. I wonder what 2021 has in store. Onward and Upward.

Wishing you all a happy, safe, healthy, and prosperous new year. Happy 2021! Presenting our beautiful holiday cards for you. L-R: Ankit, Apurva and Ninad, Ankit, Apurva and Ninad.

Of the new life so far…

Statutory Warning: This blog post enlists a few updates from the last few months.

I missed the blog post deadline last week, courtesy of my laptop. The laptop Gods have spoken! It does not work on WIFI anymore and needs to be supported by ethernet. Sure. This post has been written on a (physically) semi-broken laptop. I’ve decided to stay with my laptop till further damage does us apart. Loyalty.

Life at Chandler has been surreal. The husband and I have already taken more than a couple of trips around (see posts below for details); happy that the travel game is still strong. Though we have been married for more than a year we have lived under the same roof only for two months. The ‘getting to know each other’ phase has been fun. Pretty organic. Love. You sign up for this phase when you say a ‘Yes’ to having your marriage arranged.

Our apartment is almost set. We settled on this pretty (read: ticked all of our requirements) sectional couch (after having visited every furniture store in the Greater Phoenix area). We also settled on this amazing new TV. The TV stand is heavy, and it took both of us three hours to put it together. I am going to try and avoid moving apartments for life because the thought of moving the tv stand makes me cry. We visited Hobby Lobby for some quote boxes and paintings. The mixtiles have arrived as well. Our apartment looks moderately decorated. Being a minimalist is not our thing. Now I understand why every family makes Costco, Walmart, and Target runs every week. It’s the battle of the finest.

The husband is delighted that everything in the apartment (except for his wife) works either via Alexa/Google assistant or his phone. The list of devices includes tv, thermostat, lights, and the robot. Our new hobby is to follow the robot as she vacuums/mops the floor. I would like to take a moment and thank James Dizon (the Godsent person who created the first vacuum robot). Sir, thank you for making our lives easier. Big fan.

I am still trying to find a balance between being a housewife, job-seeker, and (wannabe) blogger. Writing feels like life. Being a job-seeker and housewife is life. A few days ago, I realized how comfortable I had become – something N had warned me of. It is easy to get comfortable when you’ve slogged hard for ten years, and you get a break all of a sudden. You can be in your pajamas all day, sip wine during the daytime, take long naps during the afternoons, and binge watch Netflix. The fun you have has the power to make all those years of hard work a distant memory. You need a constant supply of motivation to hustle. You need to remember your dreams again and work toward them. Don’t let the fire die. You owe it to yourself. The struggle is real. We all fail but don’t quit. As they say, “When you want to quit, remember why you started in the first place”. The only road to success is to stay motivated and keep going. Hustle. Fin.

I look forward to reading your updates in the comments section. More to come next time.

Change is the only constant

Venue: Chandler, Arizona
Date: 10/17/20, Saturday, 6:30 AM
PS: I may be jet lagged.

Status Update:
Last Friday at approximately 11:20 PM, I boarded a flight to the husband so that we could finally start our married life together.

N and I had been in a long distance marriage since the November of 2019. The distance had to end some day. The US Consulate had been kind enough to finally issue me a dependent visa (after going through our WhatsApp chat messages, call records and what not) and I had decided to take it. Without further delay, I quit a very high-visibility, high-paying, mentally fulfilling, very stressful yet amazing job at Visa to become a housewife until the Gods reveal the future. Something that took everyone at Visa by surprise (I was out of there within 15 days of receiving the passport). I disappointed quite a few colleagues when I told them that I had nothing lined up and was going to figure life out after I landed.

Life, ever since, has been amazing. N and I are learning so much about each other every day – things that Duo calls could not have done justice to. I have learnt that you don’t need to wait for 12 hours resolve an argument (courtesy no time zone difference), N is really funny, caring, a MasterChef and what not. Kind of ‘sarva-gun-sampanna‘. I’ve never had to cook a meal by myself. Both of us are easy-going – this can be proved by the fact that there are dishes in the sink since Thursday and clothes in the dryer since Wednesday. No sweat.

It is surprising to me that I haven’t had a moment of boredom yet. My timetable for the past week has been –
7:00 AM to 8:00 AM – Wake up
8:00 AM to 10:00 AM – Yoga, Breakfast Prep and such
10:00 AM Onward – Chill
12:00 PM to 3:00 PM – Lunch Prep etc.
3:00 PM to 6:00/7:00 PM – Nap courtesy jet lag
7:00 PM to 8:00 PM – Chill
8:00 PM – Dinner Prep and Chill
Where is the time to do anything else?
Please notice the number of times ‘Chill’ has been mentioned. I am yet to unpack BTW – still living out of my carry-on luggage while the checked-in luggage has been neatly stowed in our walk-in wardrobe. Currently, my (borrowed) diary says ‘Resume keywords‘ on the left and ‘Things to buy‘ on the right. Efforts are being made to strike off items from both the lists with a success rate of 50%.

It’s been a sudden and a beautiful change for the both of us. As they say, Change is the only constant. I’ve surprised myself every day since the day I’ve received my passport with the stamped visa. Leaving the comfort of my parents was not easy. Leaving Visa was tough too – I have gone from working for 15 hours a day to not working at all; the first time in a decade. There’s always going to be a first time. As a partner and an ‘almost’ newly wed, I am psyched to be under the same roof as N. Can’t wait for the quarantine to get over with so that we can finally start our adventure outside of the 4 walls of our brand-new and extremely tech savvy apartment.

PS: This blog might turn into a travelogue, a cook-book and a sneak-peek into our relationship soon. More to come.