#life – Of Sun and Sand

Grateful for 2025: A year that overflowed

As I sat down to put together an end-of-year photo dump, I realized something unexpected. I was scrolling and scrolling—and I hadn’t even made it past the last three months. That’s when it hit me: 2025 wasn’t just busy, it was abundant and for that I am eternally grateful.

This year overflowed in the best ways.

There was travel—loads of it. New places, familiar places seen with new eyes, long walks in unknown streets, airport goodbyes and arrivals that always felt a little like home. Travel stretched time in that magical way, making months feel longer and memories feel richer.

There was reading too. Pages turned on flights, before bed, in quiet mornings, and slow afternoons. Stories that stayed with me, ideas that reshaped how I think, and books that felt like companions rather than distractions. Reading gave this year depth—it slowed things down when everything else was moving fast.

Most importantly, there was family. Reunions that felt overdue, conversations that picked up right where they left off, laughter that came easily, and moments that reminded me how grounding it is to be with people who know you beyond your accomplishments or plans. These were not just gatherings; they were anchors.

2025 was also a year rich in celebration and tradition. We celebrated Ganpati festival with devotion and joy, welcoming Bappa with full hearts and loud chants for the first time in our Phoenix home. We were lucky enough to be able to celebrate Chhath Pooja that brought quiet discipline and gratitude—to the sun, to nature, to life itself. Diwali lit up not just our homes but our spirits, and Navratri came alive in full swing—music, color, energy, and faith all woven together. These festivals weren’t just checkboxes on a calendar; they were lived experiences that grounded me in culture, rhythm, and meaning.

Throughout the year, I found myself returning to the wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita, words that felt especially relevant in moments of reflection:

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
You have the right to your actions, but not to the fruits of those actions. (2.47)

A reminder to stay present, to do the work, to live fully—without constantly calculating outcomes.

And another verse that echoed softly in the background of a year full of change:

यदा यदा हि धर्मस्य ग्लानिर्भवति भारत।
अभ्युत्थानमधर्मस्य तदात्मानं सृजाम्यहम्॥ (4.7)

A reminder that renewal is constant, that balance returns, that beginnings often arise from moments of transition.

Looking back, 2025 doesn’t feel like a highlight reel — it feels like a collection of small, meaningful moments woven together, many of which I only truly appreciate now.

As I step into 2026, I do so with gratitude first. Gratitude for a year that gave me more than I expected, taught me more than I planned, and filled my camera roll—and my heart—to the edge.

Here’s to new beginnings, fresh chapters, and the quiet excitement of what’s yet to unfold in 2026.

2024 in Review: Embracing Memories and Life’s Lessons

2024 ends tomorrow, and it is time to reflect upon it. I do not remember the resolutions that I made for 2024 and if I lived by them. All I remember were the beautiful moments that we spent with family and friends. Here are the highlights by month.

January 2024 – This was the toughest month of the year. Our grandmother passed away after being critically ill for a year and a half. I am glad we could meet her one final time before she passed away. We dwelled in our childhood memories. It is tough being away from the family at such times.
February 2024 – Mama A visited, and the baby was on cloud 9. Also, took a trip to Mexico for some good sun.
March 2024 – Aunts M&M visited Phoenix with families. The three siblings (N, M&M) met after four years. The baby turned 2. We packed for the temporary move.
April 2024 – We moved to Portland, OR, temporarily for 6 months. Being a PNW fan, I always wanted N and the baby to experience the summers of PNW, and my wishes were granted. We moved with our luggage, and our trunks followed. N’s employer put us in a beautiful, fully-furnished apartment, and the journey began. The baby was introduced to the color green, tulips, and rain. Beaches are beautiful when foggy. The struggle with the baby’s daycare was real.
May 2024 – May was one of the most happening months. It started with family visiting from India for Mama S’s graduation. The Kulkarni-Paranjape residence was filled with love and laughter. We took our first cruise trip as a family. We also traveled to the mountains of Washington with friends. We made beautiful memories.
June 2024 – June took us to the East Coast for our first International Cricket World Cup Match in New York! I will be eternally grateful to Mama A for taking the week off and caring for the baby while I worked. We basked in the New York vibes and explored new areas of Central Park.
July 2024 – Ofsunandsand turned a year older around her beloved friends in an Airbnb by the beach (which was not visible even when we went to the beach) with pani puri and ras malai cake in her mouth. What more can you ask for? I wanted to feel like my old self, and this trip helped.
The baby discovered how therapeutic ‘Me Time’ is and demanded the same.
August 2024 – Mama A visited, and we all took a road trip. The Oregon coast was explored. The best-smoked tomato soup was discovered.
September 2024 – We made our final visit to the beaches to pay homage to the beauty that PNW has. The baby parted ways with her best friends at daycare. We moved back to Phoenix. I could not recognize the cutlery. We had been living a minimalist lifestyle in Portland, and being back in a place with 950735636 utensils confused my tiny brain. The baby was happy to see her older toys.
We left Portland with mixed feelings. Though we loved PNW, we could not wait to move back. We missed the feeling of belongingness.
October 2024 – We spent a few days trying to place our dishes. We also spent a lot of time cleaning up things that did not fit/would never fit/were not needed – receipts, clothes, toys, and shoes. We took a spontaneous surprise trip to India. The smile on everyone’s faces was priceless.
Mom retired from her job after 35 years of employment. I realized that maybe none of us would have a retirement party like that one. Gen Y/Z have been switching jobs so often that the term ‘loyalty’ barely exists. Most of us are running the race for a higher salary and better perks. Will we meet an employer who will be loyal to us like we are loyal to them? One will never know.
November 2024 – The India trip continued and ended in the middle of the month. The annual health check-up reports were good! All of us traveled back to the USA with Tylenol down our throats. We celebrated Thanksgiving, our anniversary, and N’s birthday surrounded with love, laughter, light, and friends.
December 2024 – Things got slower. The baby had adjustment issues with her old/new daycare. We decided to start with traditions. We spent substantial effort on a Christmas tree and related decorations. I learned the concept of a ‘Christmas tree skirt.’ The train of friends, relatives, and good food halted at the house one after the other. The year will end with 4 hours of ‘sick leave’ because that is all I have left.

In hindsight, 2024 was a beautiful year. I saw some highs, some lows, some very lows, and some much-awaited comebacks. A few things I realized were that our parents are getting older and life is fragile. Make memories while you can. One must live in the moment because the present does not last forever.

Wishing you all loads of light, love, laughter, and good food in 2025. Wishing myself the ability to finish my train of thought, and complete a conversation without being interrupted, peace, snow, and pani puri in 2025. God speed.

The tunnel is curved

It was a Saturday afternoon. N was catching up on his favorite series. I was on my laptop identifying ladybugs, porcupines, and daisies in the captchas to submit job applications.

The last few months’ post-layoffs have been disappointing. The ratio between applications, rejections, and interviews is 10000+: 11000+: 1. I may have been rejected for roles I have not applied for.

In the past, tough times have led to unique opportunities that helped my career. Over the last decade, I have jumped positions, domains, and technologies and thrived. I have picked up many transferable skills in my previous roles and used them to my advantage. This should ideally make me a good fit for many positions. But will I succeed in every/any role? What would make me happy and successful? What would make me feel that I can still have a semblance of a career? Boy, layoffs suck the confidence out of you!

Figuring out the next step was easy, but keeping at it has been heartbreaking. Finding employers that offer sponsorship has been a hurdle. I have been constantly ghosted by recruiters and hiring managers. Submitting applications has been tiring. Fatigue has set in, making it even harder to stay motivated. I look for motivation in every conversation and situation. One such talk with N that Saturday afternoon gave me a new perspective.

In a dramatic conversation, I used the word ‘tough’ 10 times in a single sentence. I told N that everything in life had been tough – landing jobs, being in labor, having a baby, being a pseudo-housewife, and being laid off. Everything seems extra challenging when you are in a trench. We have a notion about tunnels – you need to keep walking to reach the end, and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I have been walking in the dark tunnel of the job hunt and rejections for 7 months, and I cannot see so much as a torch to light the way, leave alone the light at the end of the tunnel that Ada Adams promised. The tunnel seems never-ending. And I am tired.

N heard patiently and said that maybe the tunnel was not a straight road as I assumed. The tunnel could be curved this time, and I needed to keep walking. The light at the end was not visible because I needed to take turns and pivot. The light could be at the next curve.

I always considered the tunnel this long, straight path where you see the light at the end and continue walking toward it. The light is your motivation to walk. But the tunnel I am walking this time is curved, and I must pivot to reach the light. Of course, I need to keep walking, like the 5.8M unemployed people in the country.

For most of us, life has been less than ideal. But we must do what we can to survive, thrive, and overcome. Take that trip you always wanted, binge-watch your favorite show, spend time with your loved ones, eat what you want, or keep away from someone because you cannot deal with them right now. Also, be kind and encourage, uplift, and motivate those around you who suffer. Remember that the tunnel can be curved, and continue walking. Sending you lots of Love and Light.

Happy Women’s Day 2023

Linkedin, Instagram, Whatsapp, and Text messages buzz with Women’s Day messages and inspirational quotes. I still do not find myself happy, glad, and inspired by the shift in perspective. As a mother to a daughter, I have a slightly different perspective. This Women’s Day, I hope –

No girl is sold or bought as a commodity in any part of the world.
No terrorist organization kidnaps a school full of girls to work on farms and tend their beds.
No 6-year-old girl is kidnapped from a gas station by a psycho for unthinkable tortures.
No daughter is loved lesser than her brother.
No girl is abused/molested by her family member.
No girl is eve-teased while walking down the street.
No teenager ends her life because of the fear of disappointing her parents.
No teenager is bullied to depression.
No girl is asked to cover her legs because men will ogle.
No girl suffers a lifetime of burns because she chose not to love someone.
No girl is killed by her family because she is brave enough to fall in love.
No woman is stoned to death because she has feelings for a co-worker.
No wife is physically, verbally, or mentally abused by her husband and in-laws.
No daughter-in-law is forced to bear a child because the parents-in-law want a grandson.
No daughter-in-law is blamed because she could not conceive.
No expecting mother is discriminated against at the workplace because she is about to take a “big leave.”
No woman is stripped of her rights to speak up because she is a woman.
No woman is denied her right to choose.
No woman is ridiculed for her choice of hair color/partner/clothes.
No woman needs to explain the meaning of ‘No’ and ‘Consent.’

Apologies for the darkness. I am hoping that the next women’s day will be a better one. One can only hope. I am going to try and make this world a better place for all our daughters to live in. I am not sure how, but I will try. Happy Women’s Day to you and yours from me and mine!

How You made me a mother…

Dear Baby Girl Nirva,

I hope this blog post finds you sleeping peacefully with your tummy full. I hope you are not too cold and shivering or too hot and sweaty. I hope the room temperature is just right. Wishing you a good night’s sleep. Today has been tough for you, your tummy, and us. I should probably eliminate caffeine from my diet.

This letter was crafted while I was rocking you to sleep after the long rough day that you’ve had. You are already making ‘imma wake up anytime’ noises as I am typing this down. It’s a little past midnight; we have had a rough couple of nights. I wish a good night’s sleep to be upon us, for you to gain weight, and for me to reduce my pregnancy tummy. PS: I fit in my pre-pregnancy denims and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I remember the night we decided on your name. We had not planned a baby yet but we had zeroed down your name and gender (as if it were in our hands) already. We always knew we wanted a daughter. A few months later we realized we couldn’t wait any longer to hold you in our arms.

I remember the day we learnt that you were on your way. It was day 1 of week 6. I had a strong intuition that I was pregnant since Week 3. It was as if my mind already knew that We had conceived. I felt your presence. We were in Illinois in week 5 and I refused to pick up my own luggage. Baba was furious but being the gentleman he is, picked up all of my luggage along with his. I did not want to risk your health by doing anything that I wasn’t supposed to. I became a mother that very moment – I wanted to protect you even when I wasn’t sure you existed. One night (while in Illinois) after a late night round of cards with the extended family, I told Baba about my pregnancy intuitions. He laughed it off. We reached home (Chandler) a few days later. I doordashed a pregnancy test at 7 AM. And Aai’s intuition was right. You were on your way. Baba was asleep when I broke the news to him. I can never forget the smile on his face. We told both Aaji-Ajobas the same evening. They guided us throughout the pregnancy.

Millions of tests followed. Fatigue had set in along with the mood swings. You dictated what you wanted to eat. We decided to navigate our relationship, life, and eating habits around it. Bed time had changed to 7:45 PM to supply you the energy you needed to flourish. I had just started working as well. You triggered a house search – a place that we could all call ‘home’. The week 8 ultrasound went great. However, delta variant was at large. Both Baba and I had covid symptoms in Week 9 (though we never tested positive). We prayed incessantly for your safety. We quarantined and worked from home for a few weeks. We wanted nothing but for you to be safe. Week 12 appointment was good. Soon we entered second trimester.

It was a lazy Sunday morning and you were only 14 weeks old. I opened my eyes at 8 AM. It was too early for a Sunday (then). Baba was sleeping peacefully. I decided to go back to sleep too. 15 minutes later, you moved and indicated that you were hungry. That was the first time we felt your presence in the tummy. I immediately woke up and fixed you breakfast. I looked forward to feeling your kicks every day for the rest of my pregnancy.

Week 15 brought an almost hit and run. I was glad you were safe. A few weeks later, we had to go to the emergency room. Thankfully, you were safe. More tests followed. Meanwhile, all the offers that we had put on houses had been rejected. Baba and I were dejected. Maybe we weren’t meant to buy a house. A few weeks weeks later, we casually went to see a house in a newer and unexplored area. It was love at first sight. We paid the deposit on the very next day. You had a place to call home now. Mama flew out from New York to help us move.

Things became heavier once we moved into the new house. It was week 20 of the pregnancy. The shopping spree started. We became regulars at every major retailer. Aai would sit on the floor of every aisle she walked in. That is how the knobs for your bathroom were selected. Walking had become difficult. Energy was hard to come by. I felt the constant need to rest and sleep.

Third trimester introduced us to Braxton & Hicks, sciatic nerve pain, acid reflux, infusions, sleepless nights, prodromal labor, and even more doctors appointments. We were sent back several times from the OB triage. I had all the symptoms of pre-labor for 3 weeks but you took your own sweet time. Finally I went into labor at the end of week 41 and you arrived.

I can never forget the first time I saw you… actually when You saw me. My epidural had almost stopped working and I was in tears. The nurse picked you up and put you on my chest as soon as You were born. You immediately turned your neck (don’t think you are supposed to be able to do that at minute 1, but you did) and looked at me. That was the first time when I saw you. Both of us were crying. Actually, all three of us were crying. A tear rolled down Baba’s cheeks when he held you for the first time.

It has been an absolute pleasure to see you grow in the last 7 weeks. You love stories, badbad geete, and talking in general. You already say ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’, ‘Oh wow’ (or at least that is what we hear when you blabber). You have disliked all of the formulas that the pediatrician recommended. You always know where the camera is. You’ve visited Grand Canyon and Bearizona already. You hate being covered. You dislike being swaddled and napping in general. You are gassy at times. Your smile lights up the room.

You have signs for everything You need. We are still trying to learn them. You have taught me more in the last two months than I’ve learnt in the last 30 years of my life. Being your Aai has been the most fulfilling role of my life. You make me a better human being, daughter, wife, and mother every day. Thank you for being born. Thank you for choosing me to be your mother. Thank you for being our bundle of joy.

Love you forever and always. Aai.

It hurts to pay retail…

Disclaimer: This post was created in my brain while waiting to get my nostril re-pierced.

Day of event: 04/12/2019, Friday

Weeks fly by. Earning calls come quick. Weekends arrive before I am ready. Cannot comprehend life at this pace. On a different note, my new nose jewelry was not the right size and kept on falling off. As a result all patience was lost and I removed the jewelry once and for all. Soon my piercing died off.

5:15 PM – I step out of the tarot card reader’s establishment feeling conned (no offence meant for tarot card science. The psychic can feel free to be offended though). I always thought that psychics were not meant to talk negative about their clients. This one did. She was brutal. I was too broken to even fight back (not that I would have anyway). It shall be a while before that gets funny.

5:30 PM – The wait at Deep Roots Piercing & Tattoo was real – 45 minutes. I was at UW and decided to enjoy whatever was left of the Cherry Blossoms and do my favorite thing for healing purposes – get coffee. The Psychic’s words rushed through my mind. Coffee needed desperately.

I figured Orin’s place at the Paccar would be a good place to get coffee. I took the road I traversed while I worked as a Student Assistant at Foster’s. Some things never change – the way to Paccar was still as beautiful.

I worked as a Research Assistant for PhD students at the Foster School of Business during my 1st year of the Master’s degree. It was hard work! Taking care of all of the research studies and the undergrad kids was very interesting. And it was great! One fine day, one of the PhD students took me out for coffee at Orin’s. That was probably my first interaction with Starbucks. I had no clue what to order and the prices looked a lot more than I could afford at that time. So, I went for cheapest – brewed coffee. She saw me struggle with creme and sugar and said, “Boy, you don’t do this often, do you?”

She was right. I’d never bought coffee before then. Never needed to. I lived 2 blocks away from the campus and ran home for everything.

Sadly, Orin’s was closed today so I decided to buy coffee from Suzzallo.

5:50 PM – The Quad.

Call me superstitious but the people I visit the quad to see cherry blossoms or the Skagit Tulip festival with walk out of my life sooner or later. So, I make a conscious choice of not blossoming in cherries and tulips with the people I love.

I walked to Suzzallo to grab coffee from the moderately new and shiny Starbucks they have. If you haven’t checked out the new store yet, you should. I ordered the usual – Caramel Macchiato and paid retail since it is a Licensed store (hence, no employee discounts). Man, it hurts to pay retail! Coffee @ Starbucks IS expensive!

Starbucks at UW Suzzallo Library. Seattle, Washington. Image license: Graham Baba Architects and Degenkolb Engineers. © Copyright 2017 Benjamin Benschneider All Rights Reserved. Usage may be arranged by contacting Benjamin Benschneider Photography. Email: bbenschneider@comcast.net
Starbucks at UW Suzzallo Library. Seattle, Washington. Image license: Graham Baba Architects and Degenkolb Engineers. © Copyright 2017 Benjamin Benschneider All Rights Reserved. Usage may be arranged by contacting Benjamin Benschneider Photography. Email: bbenschneider@comcast.net

5:52 PM – While I waited for my drink and chilled on the very comfortable and mostly supremely expensive leather couch I was reminded of Thursdays.

During the second year of my Master’s, Thursdays used to be straight 16 hour days. I used to pick a 8-9 hour shift at the UW Athletics during the day and attend the lecture in the evenings. On my way from UW Athletics to Mary Gates I used to pick up Starbucks Coffee from the HUB. It was a routine I loved. Also, my second interaction with Starbucks.

My entire family flew in to see me graduate. I felt blessed. Sending over gifts is a tradition I love. I sent back gifts from the 1st Starbucks in Seattle. In case you didn’t know, the 1st Starbucks store carries exclusive merchandise that is not sold elsewhere in the world.

The first Starbucks Store. Picture from :
http://blog.logomyway.com/history-of-starbucks-logo-design/

A week later, I received an offer from Starbucks.

An offer from Starbucks took me back to connecting the pieces of my life – piecing the puzzle if you will. My first interaction with Starbucks was an introduction to Starbucks in all sorts of ways. The second interaction taught me how priceless it was – Starbucks coffee on Thursdays was the most needed and valuable coffee of the week! My third interaction with Starbucks instilled a sense of pride in me. My most recent interaction with Starbucks made me realize that one can still have a borderline impostor syndrome after almost three years of working with the company.

The point is, I never thought that incidences in life are actually connected; that the experiences you have actually mean something. There IS a bigger picture and every experience, good or bad, helps build that bigger picture. You never know what the experiences you have shall lead to. I have experienced Starbucks in different capacities in the past few years – each one more rewarding than the previous one.

This passing thought gives me hope. Maybe the recent turn of events mean something; the creation of a bigger picture that I can’t see because I am not tall enough. Time to be grateful; time to be hopeful; time to have some faith. More to come.

Also, look how famous working at Starbucks can make one!

Partners take the stage during the Starbucks Annual Meeting of Shareholders on Wednesday March 20, 2019 at WaMu Theater in Seattle.
Starbucks baristas serve coffee, Wednesday, March 20, 2019, during Starbuck’s annual shareholders meeting in Seattle. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)

#Live2DanceSeattle

It all started more than 2 years ago when a friend of mine asked me to go and try this new Bollywood dance class in Seattle. I walked into a room full of people from all caste, creed and color and a fervent dance instructor. I have not been able to walk out the room ever since.

The first thing that I noticed about Deepali was her amazing energy and the immensely positive vibe. After having known her for more than 2 years I can say that her pool of energy is never-ending. She walks with this amazing ‘can do’ attitude and nothing dampens her spirits. You can never meet anyone who is more passionate about dance and the work that she does through dance than Deepali. For her, dance is not about the glittery costumes or stage performances. For her, it is more about fostering a sense of community. Deepali goes out of her way to create a family away from family. The feeling of belongingness to this family is unmissed.

Her love for novelty and appetite for dance is reflected in every routine she choreographs. She is personally invested in the growth of each of her students, not only as a dancer, but also as a person. Deepali’s enthusiasm, determination, zest of life, laughter, and positive vibe are very infectious. She is not only a wonderful dancer but also a fierce friend. She is a successful mother, wife, dance instructor, and project manager and probably one of the few Superwomen I know.

I feel truly honored to have been a part of Live2DanceSeattle over the last 2 years and would be my privilege to be in the future.

#wontEatWillTravel Crystal Mountain, WA

08/18/2018: Day trip to Crystal Mountain.

Crystal mountain, Pierce County, is a ski area. Nevertheless, it is a good place for a short day-trip during summers as well. It is a beautiful 2-hour drive from Seattle. The view is ecstatic.

The view!!

The most amazing time-lapse I’ve ever captured. I swear my head spun after watching this the first time.

Someone was actually getting married there. I thought it was brilliant!! Pretty #Sherpa I must say.

Plandids/Candids –

#lessonsOfLife

I grew a year older and wiser this month. Here’s a list of things I’ve learned in the last year –

I am fully capable of living on my own… in the heart of downtown… alone… \m/
One can sleep after watching a horror movie because… (see the next point)
Sleep is the most important thing ever.
Earplugs work just fine for the early morning trash trucks.
Some things are just not meant to work out.
People change.
People leave.
Some people leave for a reason. The reason stays even after they’ve left.
Work is life but life is not work – however you want to put it.
Mental illness is real.
Medical bills are huge. Be fit. Stay fit.
‘Me’ time is a real thing. You need ‘Me’ time.
French fries are an acceptable lunch option.
It is absolutely fine to fall asleep while at movies.
It is okay not to party on a Friday. You can be a homebody if you want to.
It is not okay to be indecisive. Decisions are important.
Let go and move on.
Forgive and forget. Don’t get back in touch though.
If you think you have “problems” in life may be read a newspaper or watch the news for 5 mins. Follow the theory of relativity. Your problems are the uber first world problems most people would die to have. There would be at least a million people on the face of this earth who would be more than happy to live your life.
Family is the real deal.
Travel makes you wiser. Travel as much as possible. #wontEatWillTravel
Milky way is beautiful. Try star-gazing as much as possible.
Netflix is chocolate cake and amazon prime video is the icing on it.
Live life with no regrets.
Past is in the past for a reason. Never turn back. You are not going there.
Some people do not understand the concept of ‘olive branch’ and it is not your responsibility to you to teach them.
Your mood should never be dependent on the people around you. Stay calm. Stay foolish.

Of Choices and More…

8:00 AM: I left for Trader Joe’s to buy cucumber as instructed. Fire sounded very serious about picnic plans and I wanted to prove my support. We left for the hike soon after the successful purchase of every item from the list. P.S: None wants to play with Fire.

11:30 AM: The Baby (read: Fire’s niece), Fire and I reached the trailhead after having fought with traffic and found a parking spot (#theStruggleIsAlwaysReal). We started the ascent.

11:45 AM: The name of the trail had rung a bell before but I decided not to jog my memory. 20 minutes into the hike and we reached a bridge. Everything came rushing back to me. I had already 2 of my facebook display pictures clicked here in two different outfits with two different group of people. This was going to be a hattrick for me – 3 consecutive years to the same place with 3 different groups of people. Not cool. Should take this as a signal and try different hikes.

1:00 PM: Fire led the troupe as usual. Baby followed her and I was at the tail-end. The hike got busier as the day and hike progressed. Dogs of all sizes made a point to annoy me. I tried to distract myself by eavesdropping.

Two friends/colleagues, both probably in their late twenties, walked a few feet behind us. The conversation was about the risks they had taken in their lives and relationships. And then something one of them said caught my attention –

Friend 1: But then, I can’t even imagine how my life would have been had I stayed back and continued my job…you know…

Friend 2: Yeah, me too. And I think it is wrong to think like that. When you doubt your life choices and decisions you are in a way disrespecting yourself.

4:00 PM: We reached the trailhead, drank hot coffee and drove back to Seattle.

That sentence about doubting life choices ran in infinite loops in my brain. I had been doubting my decisions for a while now. Every time I saw the numbers on my credit card bills, salary account and student loan account I doubted my decision of coming to the US to pursue my dreams. Dreams are expensive. I could have avoided the debts and the hassles and tension. Every time my grandparents were sick and hospitalized I questioned my choice of leaving India. I wasn’t around when my grandfather passed away. I shall be forever guilty about that. Guaranteed, I would not have been in the position I am at had I not taken the risks. There is no way I could have achieved what I have had I not taken the risks. But still, I do try and imagine how my life would have been had I not taken the steps I did. Maybe life would have been better… or maybe not.

That made me realize… when I doubt my own decisions I am disrespecting myself. Whatever path you chose to walk on was your choice. Just because you had hiccups does not mean you made the wrong one. You gotta walk till you reach the destination. In the end… whatever the deal is… you gotta face the consequences and own up to it. Period.