Of Sun and Sand

#lessonsOfLife 2020: A blessing in disguise

I apologize for interrupting the travelogue to write this customary year-end #lessonsOfLife series. Of course, this year has been unprecedented. No clue if anyone saw it coming.
Date: 01/02/2021

12:00 AM: A teardrop rolled down my cheek. Tony was no more. I lost it. I looked at the boys and said, “I can’t believe this is happening! What do you mean by Iron man dies at the end of the End game?!”
The boys and I had been binge-watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe marathon over the past week or so. The year ended with Avengers: Endgame. The order of the movies is as below. Yes, we watched all 22-23 of them with full concentration. We ace all Marvel universe related quizzes now.

12:20 AM: We are another glass of wine down. I find it difficult to digest the fact that Iron Man will cease to exist in the universe going forward. I’d found him the coolest.
We open the sofa chaise to take out the bedding. The screws had fallen. I am sorry, but we just brought you home! How can something so new go bad so quickly?!

12:30 AM: N was inside the chaise with an electric drill and a bunch of screws. Ankit and I took turns to hold up the chaise and run for supplies.
It was 12:30 AM. It was a new year, a new beginning, and a new blah blah! This was not supposed to happen. Ordinarily, I would have been too busy dancing away the new year’s night with my loved ones for the sofa chaise to go wrong. Welcome to adulthood, I thought.
We installed a quick fix and moved on with our lives. If that is any indication of how the rest of the year is going to be.
Hoping the AFW guy comes soon enough to fix it. I am still sitting on the same sofa chaise to write this post btw.

1:00 AM: I reflected on the past year. In hindsight, 2020 has been a blessing in disguise for me.

The arranged marriage train had finally stopped at the Baroda junction, and we’d tied the knot. 2020 marks the first complete year of us being married. Of course, long-distance was very difficult – the time difference, the yearning, the missing, the misunderstandings, the arguments, the love. Nevertheless, we survived. I am happy that I could move back and live a married life with a wonderful man.
At Starbucks, several colleagues had some international exposure in business. For example, they had worked in either Asia, Europe, or both. I always wanted an opportunity to learn more about business in other markets. As luck would have it, I got the opportunity to learn business around South-east Asia at Visa. I felt lucky to have received international exposure at that level.
I’d never met someone who’d gone to school at the IITs/IIMs. I always wanted to learn about their perspectives. Thanks to Visa, I had this incredible opportunity to work exclusively with folks who went to school at both IIT and IIM. I worked with and learned from the crème de la crème of the industry (quite literally). Such talented folks, all of them. I felt blessed. You learn a lot from a room where everyone else is a lot smarter than you are. I could not have asked for more.
Infosys made me step out of the house at the age of 21. I hadn’t had a lot of time to spend with my parents ever since. The pandemic hit soon after I moved back to India. Both of my parents had to work from home as well. The lockdown gave us a lot of time together as a family. I will forever be grateful for that family time.
A few minutes later, I drifted off to sleep.

I believe I learned the hardest lessons of my life in 2020 –
(1) Never take anything/anyone for granted.
(2) Enjoy every moment and be present. You never know which cosmopolitan at your favorite Social is your last one.
(3) Don’t be rude to anyone. You may not get a chance to apologize.
(4) Never take your paychecks for granted. Be glad that you have a job.
(5) Never take your health for granted. Who knew cold could be fatal?
(6) Never underestimate the importance of your hobby. Develop it.
(7) There’s no time like family time.
(8) Marriage needs work. Long-distance is tough.
(9) Life is tough. Nobody said it was easy.
(10) Recognize when people need you. Be there for them.
(11) A few words of kindness go far.
(12) If you have abundant, share. Support small businesses, non-profits, orphanages, assisted living, etc. They need us during tough times.
I believe surviving 2020 made me stronger. It gave me confidence that I can stand up the 8th time after falling seven times. It taught me that miracles happen. Most importantly, it taught me to have faith – a concept that was lost on me before.

2021 starts with fixing what is broken – sofa chaise, laptops, self, etc., and a more serious job hunt. 2020 brought quite a few surprises. I wonder what 2021 has in store. Onward and Upward.

Wishing you all a happy, safe, healthy, and prosperous new year. Happy 2021! Presenting our beautiful holiday cards for you. L-R: Ankit, Apurva and Ninad, Ankit, Apurva and Ninad.

#wontEatWillTravel Road trip – Christmas 2020

Almost 2000 miles. 6 days. 4 states. 4 national parks. The greatest road-trip of all times.

Ankit is visiting! My boys met each other for the first time.
Ankit and I hadn’t been to this part of the US yet. So, we decided to take a road trip to major destinations in and around Arizona. The destinations were a good mix of places we had visited earlier as well as new ones.
This post only outlines the trip. The upcoming posts shall go through all the days/national parks in detail.

Day 1:
Punjabi Dhaba, Kingman, Arizona (Must visit)
Hoover dam, Arizona/Nevada
Las Vegas, Nevada
Night @ Las Vegas

Day 2:
Death Valley National Park, California
Night @ Las Vegas, Nevada

Day 3:
Zion National Park, Utah
Night @ Page, Arizona

Day 4:
Horseshoe bend, Arizona
Bryce Canyon National Park, Utah
Night @ Page, Arizona

Day 5:
Lake Powell, Page, Arizona
Bearizona, Williams, Arizona
Grand Canyon National Park, South Rim, Arizona
Night @ Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

Day 6:
Grand Canyon National Park, South Rim, Arizona
Home Sweet Home.

A few tips if you are going on a road trip during the winters:
1. Clothing: You may need to wear layers. It can get windy, cold, and snowy.
2. Hiking: The major hikes may be closed during the winters. In the event you decide to take the trails that are open during the winters, I would recommend hiking/snowshoes and gear.
3. Gas: Across Arizona and Utah there are stretches with absolutely no civilization. Make sure your gas tank is always full.
4. Food/Drinks: We had a cooler bag full of adult/non-adult beverages at all times. We carried a month-worth of snacks as well. Most restaurants shut down at 9 PM. Depending on where you go you would want to check ahead and schedule accordingly.
5. Stay: We stayed at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas, Marriott at Page, and Yavapai Lodge at Grand Canyon. I’d recommend going for lodges inside the national parks if you can.
We changed plans on the go and ended up traveling a lot more than we should have. For example, Bryce Canyon and Zion were last minute additions. Had we planned better, we would have stayed at Kanab (a place between both the national parks) rather than driving down to Page for the night.
6. Please mind the road closures.
7. Spontaneous changes are good. Make sure you have enough fuel for it.
8. We tried to see sunrises, sunsets, and do star-gazing wherever we went. We are sunset-chasers. So, we made sure all the sunsets were picturesque.
9. Don’t approach the wildlife. If you suspect wildlife is around you, excuse yourself. (Story in the upcoming posts)
10. Make sure your team has more than one driver. The more the merrier.
11. Try to drive as little as possible between two consecutive destinations. That saves time and miles.
12. With the sun setting earlier during winters, try to maximize the daylight.
13. We preferred not to spend time at breakfast and lunches. So, they were always on the go. This helped us utilize the daylight better. We made a point to return to the hotel by 8-9 PM. So, our dinners were relaxed and we could call it a day early.
14. Don’t try to pack a lot in a few days. Keep it relaxing.
15. Please download offline maps. None of our phones had a network for long hours.
16. Make sure you have phone chargers in your car.
17. Mind the speed limits. We saw innumerable speed traps, especially in smaller cities.
18. The sun is brutal even during the winters. Make sure you have a pair of sunglasses.

Here’s how our road trip looked on Google Maps.

A few highlights from the trip –

Of the new life so far…

Statutory Warning: This blog post enlists a few updates from the last few months.

I missed the blog post deadline last week, courtesy of my laptop. The laptop Gods have spoken! It does not work on WIFI anymore and needs to be supported by ethernet. Sure. This post has been written on a (physically) semi-broken laptop. I’ve decided to stay with my laptop till further damage does us apart. Loyalty.

Life at Chandler has been surreal. The husband and I have already taken more than a couple of trips around (see posts below for details); happy that the travel game is still strong. Though we have been married for more than a year we have lived under the same roof only for two months. The ‘getting to know each other’ phase has been fun. Pretty organic. Love. You sign up for this phase when you say a ‘Yes’ to having your marriage arranged.

Our apartment is almost set. We settled on this pretty (read: ticked all of our requirements) sectional couch (after having visited every furniture store in the Greater Phoenix area). We also settled on this amazing new TV. The TV stand is heavy, and it took both of us three hours to put it together. I am going to try and avoid moving apartments for life because the thought of moving the tv stand makes me cry. We visited Hobby Lobby for some quote boxes and paintings. The mixtiles have arrived as well. Our apartment looks moderately decorated. Being a minimalist is not our thing. Now I understand why every family makes Costco, Walmart, and Target runs every week. It’s the battle of the finest.

The husband is delighted that everything in the apartment (except for his wife) works either via Alexa/Google assistant or his phone. The list of devices includes tv, thermostat, lights, and the robot. Our new hobby is to follow the robot as she vacuums/mops the floor. I would like to take a moment and thank James Dizon (the Godsent person who created the first vacuum robot). Sir, thank you for making our lives easier. Big fan.

I am still trying to find a balance between being a housewife, job-seeker, and (wannabe) blogger. Writing feels like life. Being a job-seeker and housewife is life. A few days ago, I realized how comfortable I had become – something N had warned me of. It is easy to get comfortable when you’ve slogged hard for ten years, and you get a break all of a sudden. You can be in your pajamas all day, sip wine during the daytime, take long naps during the afternoons, and binge watch Netflix. The fun you have has the power to make all those years of hard work a distant memory. You need a constant supply of motivation to hustle. You need to remember your dreams again and work toward them. Don’t let the fire die. You owe it to yourself. The struggle is real. We all fail but don’t quit. As they say, “When you want to quit, remember why you started in the first place”. The only road to success is to stay motivated and keep going. Hustle. Fin.

I look forward to reading your updates in the comments section. More to come next time.

#wontEatWillTravel Arizona Road Trip – Thanksgiving week

Picture courtesy: Ninad Paranjape/Me.

This was the first trip N and I took as a couple. The states neighboring Arizona are closed for business so we decided to go local. Owing to the pandemic, we researched and made a list of 34 lesser-visited destination in Arizona. We mapped a few destinations out and left the next morning.

Lake Pleasant Regional Park, Morristown, AZ: It is one/one and a half hour away from Chandler. We reached around noon. The drive to the park was amazing – loved it! I recommend you to check the working hours and routes before you travel. The last leg to the lake was shut so we viewed the lake from the Pleasant Harbor Marina. You can rent boats and kayaks here. The lake is as blue as it can be.

Watson Lake, Prescott, AZ: Watson lake is one and a half-hour away from Lake Pleasant. The route from Lake Pleasant to Watson Lake is amazing. Arizona suddenly turns into scenic Montana and ends as Colorado with all the granite at Watson Lake. This charming lake is surrounded by granite rocks.
You can hike the Watson lake loop trail. We chose to maintain distance and climbed down to the lake by taking the rocky path to the left. It’s nothing that you cannot do in slippers (though I recommend you wear shoes). We did not see anyone kayaking/boating here.

Sycamore falls, Williams, AZ: This was going to be our sunset point. The last 10-15 miles of the road to the Sycamore falls is a dirt road lined with private properties. We re-checked the map several times en route to this one. The road ends at a place with a signboard and restroom. There were no markings for the trail. After guesswork, we decided to take the route that started from behind the signboard. We climbed down for 30 seconds (no markings. only logs.) and took a right. Unexpectedly, the falls were frozen. Yes, you read it right. It was not snowing but the falls were frozen. There was no sign of life (at all!). Pretty spooky.

On our way back we saw the best sunset ever.

Williams, AZ: We were not sure if we could visit Sycamore on Day 1. So, we had booked a room for the night at Williams. Good life choice. We stayed at the Holiday Inn – a comfortable stay. Grand Canyon Brewing + Distillery is right next door. It has great ambiance (Christmas lights made it look even better), and good food. The portions are substantial. You will enjoy the adult beverages here.

Bearizona, Williams AZ: LOVED this place! If you are accompanied by kids, this place is a must-visit. As adults, we could have spent a few more hours for sure. This is a drive-thru zoo attached to a walk-thru zoo! It is recommended that you shut down all doors and windows while driving. A few pictures below to get you excited!

Sedona, AZ: The route from Williams to Sedona is beautiful. You can still see fall colors! The red rocks are mesmerizing. The next destination was the Devil’s bridge. We did not find a parking spot and looking at the crowd we decided to pass. We walked the lonely Two Fence Trail for a little bit instead. It has good views and is not a tough walk at all. Later, we went to Tlaquepaque for lunch and shopping. It is very picturesque. I recommend that you visit The Chai Spot here. A few pictures from Sedona.

Chapel of the Holy Cross, Sedona, AZ: We stopped at the Chapel of the Holy Cross after lunch. The views from here are fantastic! It was on the way to our next destination. It was very crowded though. FYI, public restrooms are not available.

We were going to end the trip at Montezuma Castle National Monument but we could not get there in time. It shuts down at 4:45 PM and we reached at 4:55 PM.

Since we could not find a spot for sunset, we stopped at a random place to see the magic. Photos from the valley. We left for home soon after.

Arizona is enthralling. Overall, it was a very good road trip. Hopefully, we will take more trips in the future. Keep reading this space for more. Stay Safe.

#lessonsOfLife Be kind. Work hard.

Date: 11/17/2020, Tuesday
Place: Chandler, AZ

I have moved places, people, mind, heart, and life quite a bit over the last couple of years. Life has been nothing less than a movie with all the drama. I could get a second Master’s in making lemonade from the lemons life has thrown at me.
After switching countries (again), I am back at the job market. This job hunt is like no other – we are in the middle of a recession, the pandemic is growing worse, none favors visa sponsorship, millions have lost their jobs, very few are hiring, and there is always a gap between what a role requires and what you got. My inbox is overflowing with reject emails. Motivation is hard to come by. But the following call changed things.

Monday evening: It was Padwa day. N and I decided to make Cosmos to celebrate Padwa and the new year. N is a quick learner and has mastered the art of making Cosmos.

Tuesday morning:

10 AM: I woke up with a bad headache/hangover. N was working.

That was my first hangover in a long time. To all the millennials out there – hangovers worsen with age.
10:05 AM: The phone rang. I picked it up.
A: Hello. *Husky voice* (That’s the best I could do)
Interviewer: Hello. Am I speaking with Apurva?
A: Yes, this is she.
Interviewer: Hello. You’d applied for the ABC role in XYZ company. I was wondering if this was a good time to talk. Sorry that I called without intimation.

I couldn’t place the company. At this point, I had realized that the connection between my ears and brain was partially impaired and I could not listen. I had no laptop in front of me so all of his questions would have to be answered impromptu. I said Yes.

Interviewer: Before I begin, we don’t have the set up to be able to sponsor folks. Will that be a problem? If yes, I wouldn’t want to waste your time.
A: Yes, I do need sponsorship to be able to work in the United States.

And then something beautiful happened. He said he believes that I will be successful in life. That woke me up. Here was a guy, who I had spoken to for 2 minutes. He said my resume was solid and he knew only hard-work could have gotten me here. He asked me to continue working hard if I knew only hard-work could help me achieve my goal. He thought successful people can be spotted early on and he had spotted me. He said I shouldn’t depend on a financial clutch; that I should be on my own. He went on to tell me a story about his childhood. That experience had instilled the importance of hard work, pride, and dignity in him. According to him, all I needed was a bridge and a chance. He said I’ve done amazing things in the past and would continue to do so in the future. He wished me well and hung up. I wondered if he did magic crystal or was a fortune-teller on the side!

At the back of my mind, I wondered if he knew how rough the last year or so had been for me. I wondered if he knew how tired I was of the job hunt (already); that motivation has been rare. Rejections were/are the new norm. I wondered if he knew of all that I’ve lost and given up to arrive at the new normal. I imagined the interviewer to be around 50 years old, could easily be passed off as a Grandfather. He was the VP of that particular organization. He would have had better things to do. But he chose to talk to me and motivate me when he could have been able to talk to a more suitable candidate instead. He went that extra mile that recruiters don’t need to/do not. That phone call made my day. I took those few sentences from the stranger to be a message from beyond. Life wants me to strive hard. I took that as an indication that I will reach the light at the end of the tunnel if I continued running.

He was kind. That’s all he needed to be. Some of us could take a page from his book and be kind during these tough times. We need to motivate ourselves and those around us. Sometimes all we need is a little push and a few kind words to soar high.

A few motivational quotes I found at https://motivationping.com/quotes/ and Pinterest. The last quote is my favorite and has been my wallpaper for the past 5 years.

Movie Review: Laxmii and more…

Runtime: 2 hours 21 minutes
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Kiara Advani, Sharad Kelkar, Rajesh Sharma, Ayesha Raza Mirza, Manu Rishi Chadha, Ashwini Kalsekar, and Tarun Arora
Rating: 2/5
Featured image credit: onenewspage.com

I don’t watch horror movies. They leave an impression. N loves horror movies. This one was for him.

Look at the cast again. They’re all good actors. I had great expectations when I started watching the movie. But something was amiss.

It started fine. A few scenes scared the s#!t out of me (PS: I scare easy). That tempo did not stay for long. With the introduction of more characters, the acting failed to feel organic. This is not to say ‘bad acting’, just that the characters did not fit well. Laxmii, in terms of acting, could have been stronger. The supporting actors’ acting skills could have been utilized more. The VFX effects could have been sharper. The storyline is probably the replica of the original movie ‘Kanchana’; a few twists and turns would have helped to pep up the rating. However, Sharad Kelkar’s strong performance eats them up all – combined. He is excellent as Laxmii in the flashback. Overall, they could have done a much better job. On another note, the movie reminds you of ‘Bhool Bhulaiyya’ in a few ways.

Nevertheless, the substance of the movie is good. They’re hitting the right spots. Our country needs to warm up to the third gender and be more accepting. This reminded me of a few instances from my past life –

A decade ago – It was my last year of undergrad. I used to take the train to school and traveled first class. I took the train back home at approximately 5 PM. You see familiar faces when you take the trains around the same time every day. When the train stopped at Nerul, I saw a few ladies sitting on the floor of the first-class compartment (not uncommon). I had to jump over them to board the train. I didn’t get a chance to look at the faces – only their neatly pedicured toenails. As soon as I entered, I saw my mother’s friend from work and found a seat next to her. Lucky me. My seat did not allow me a good view of the ladies sitting on the floor though. The compartment was comparatively silent that day. My mother’s friend and I started chatting. She almost whispered and I wondered why. Out of curiosity, I tried to sneak a peek at the floor. She stopped me and whispered, “Avert your eyes. They’re transgenders.”
TBH, I was amazed. Looking at their outfits, appearance, and voice I wouldn’t have been able to guess their gender. I don’t know where they were going, what they did to survive but I hope they tried to make an honest living.
Less than a year ago, Women’s day celebration @ Visa – We had the pleasure to hear women leaders speak. One of them was Gauri Sawant. That woman is such a captivating speaker. I always knew transgenders in India survived in sub-optimal living conditions; she gave us a clearer picture. She told us about the journey of her life and her experience of being a transgender mother. She adopted her daughter, Gayatri, in 2008 after Gayatri’s biological mother (a sex worker) died of AIDS. Gauri saved Gayatri from being sold in the sex-trafficking industry. My heart sank.
Then she moved on to tell us about how she started ‘Aajicha Ghar’. It started when a sex worker asked her if she wanted her 3-month-old son whom she could not take care of (doing what she did). Gauri took the baby as her own and started the organization. ‘Aajicha Ghar’ takes care of abandoned children of sex workers and transgender children. Noble. You can learn more about the organization here –> https://aajichaghar.com/
I am awestruck by her dedication, zeal, and drive to make this world a better place. You need to be very special, brave, and courageous to be able to do this. Grand Salute to her!

The point is, the transgender community has been deprived of their fundamental rights. Have you ever wondered why you never saw a transgender kid at school or college? Why you haven’t met transgenders at work? Why it took us 100 years to put the 3rd checkbox for transgenders to identify themselves? They’ve been sidelined and discriminated against for years. We have been oblivious of their challenges. This needs to change. And we need to be the ones inspiring and implementing the change. Maybe start sponsoring education, make reservations at schools, colleges, and work. I, for one, have decided to be more cognizant of their challenges and extend monetary help to non-profits.

Hope this inspires you to make a difference. Looking forward to reading your experiences and ideas in the comment section. Love.

Air travel during pandemic

A month ago, I moved back to the US to reunite with N. Two weeks later, N and I traveled to Ohio to attend my sister-in-law’s wedding! So, I’ve had to travel quite a bit by air in the last 30 days. I flew United and Frontier

View from the Denver airport
Flight time
With mountains in the backdrop
Flight time again

Picture Courtesy: N

A few things I noticed during the travel and tips around the same –

Check-in: Even if you web check-in you will have to stand in a queue to drop off your bags (if any). You’d see the 6 ft. distance marking on the ground while in the queue. Try to follow the rules and encourage your fellow passengers to do the same.
Tip: Try to limit the luggage to carry-on if possible. That will spare you from standing in the queue and for luggage drop-off and baggage claim. A good way to avoid crowds.
Security check: This process has not changed much. It is really difficult to maintain distance during security checks. The length of the queue will differ by airports – busier airports will take longer. However, I was the only one doing security at the forever-busy Mumbai airport (IDK HOW!!). The security personnel will request you to lower your masks for identity verification purposes. You scan your boarding pass. All security personnel wear gloves that are changed now and then.
Before boarding: The airlines usually give you a heads up if the flight is full via email. You can move dates if possible.
If you are at the airport, the number of passengers seated around the gate should give you a good idea as well.
Tip: Grab a seat at an adjoining vacant terminal to avoid the crowds.
Visit the restroom before boarding. Using the restrooms at the airport terminal should feel safer than the ones on the flight.
Layovers: We had a 5.5-hour layover in Denver and a 3-hour layover in Vegas. Here’s what we observed – the majority of the stores and restaurants were closed. Very few restaurants serve – some offer only take-out. Restaurants that have dine-in operate at 50% capacity or lesser. This means you may have to wait to be seated.
We had brunch at Denver and lunch at the Vegas airport. There was sufficient distance between adjoining tables so it felt safe to dine-in. The servers wore masks at all times. The degree of cleanliness may differ by airports/restaurants.
Since the layover at Denver was longer we had 3+ hours to spare after a leisurely brunch. Due to reduced flights, we found picturesque seats at a vacant terminal to chill and watch a movie. You can find a place away from the crowds at airports in case of layovers.
Tip: Download movies/series on Netflix before you fly for entertainment purposes.
Carry snacks whenever possible. It’s best not to rely on airport restaurants during the pandemic.
Restroom breaks: As mentioned above, use the ones at airports rather than the ones on the flight. The restrooms were mostly vacant – no queues at all. The stalls were clean and tidy as well. Some airports have blocked adjacent sinks to create the distance.
Boarding: Some airlines tend to check the temperature before you board. If your temperature is beyond the threshold you may be denied boarding. Passengers were boarded according to seat numbers and not zones. So, the latter half of the aircraft was boarded first and so on.
On the flight: Quite a few articles suggest that traveling via air is lesser risky because of the way the air is filtered and circulated. You should feel safe as long as you have your mask on. 3/6 of my flights were packed. The other 3 were roomy. Traveling in close proximity of unknown passengers feels unsafe though.
The airline may/may not offer snacks and beverages. United did. Frontier did not.
Tip: If your row is packed but the flight has enough room you may ask for a different seat.
Sanitizing the seats, tray, and hand rest would be a good idea.
Carry snacks if you have a longer flight/tend to get hungry.
De-boarding: This process has not changed much. Pandemic/no pandemic passengers are still in a hurry to de-board.
Tip: Be patient and avoid crowding the aisles.
Baggage Claim: High chances of crowds gathering at this step. As mentioned earlier, please try to fit luggage in your backpack/carry-on to spare yourselves the trouble.

Overall, it is hard to rate whether or not it felt safe to travel by air. Pretty subjective. Personally, I don’t mind traveling by air at this point. There are ways one can maintain distance and take precautions but in the end, it boils down to one’s immunity. I was very aware of anyone sneezing/coughing around me. But the only one sneezing was me (i tend to sneeze when temperature changes). A few parting tips –
Take direct flights wherever possible.
Did not see anyone wearing PPE kits; masks and face coverings were it.
It would have been nice to see more sanitizer lying around. Please carry a sanitizer and make sure to sanitize every time you touch a surface.
Make sure to carry sanitizing wipes to wipe the area before you seat yourself.
Please carry hand sanitizing wipes just in case.
You should carry a moisturizer in case the sanitizer tends to dry your hands out.
Carrying multiple masks with you should be a good idea. Change masks if need be.
Please carry napkins just in case.
Please cover your mouth if you sneeze or cough.

On that note, I recognize that wearing masks throughout the journey is annoying but you gotta do what you gotta do. Every time the masks irritate you just remember ‘This too shall pass’. Please take a test if you experience symptoms shortly after your travel.

Stay safe. Safe travels.

Change is the only constant

Venue: Chandler, Arizona
Date: 10/17/20, Saturday, 6:30 AM
PS: I may be jet lagged.

Status Update:
Last Friday at approximately 11:20 PM, I boarded a flight to the husband so that we could finally start our married life together.

N and I had been in a long distance marriage since the November of 2019. The distance had to end some day. The US Consulate had been kind enough to finally issue me a dependent visa (after going through our WhatsApp chat messages, call records and what not) and I had decided to take it. Without further delay, I quit a very high-visibility, high-paying, mentally fulfilling, very stressful yet amazing job at Visa to become a housewife until the Gods reveal the future. Something that took everyone at Visa by surprise (I was out of there within 15 days of receiving the passport). I disappointed quite a few colleagues when I told them that I had nothing lined up and was going to figure life out after I landed.

Life, ever since, has been amazing. N and I are learning so much about each other every day – things that Duo calls could not have done justice to. I have learnt that you don’t need to wait for 12 hours resolve an argument (courtesy no time zone difference), N is really funny, caring, a MasterChef and what not. Kind of ‘sarva-gun-sampanna‘. I’ve never had to cook a meal by myself. Both of us are easy-going – this can be proved by the fact that there are dishes in the sink since Thursday and clothes in the dryer since Wednesday. No sweat.

It is surprising to me that I haven’t had a moment of boredom yet. My timetable for the past week has been –
7:00 AM to 8:00 AM – Wake up
8:00 AM to 10:00 AM – Yoga, Breakfast Prep and such
10:00 AM Onward – Chill
12:00 PM to 3:00 PM – Lunch Prep etc.
3:00 PM to 6:00/7:00 PM – Nap courtesy jet lag
7:00 PM to 8:00 PM – Chill
8:00 PM – Dinner Prep and Chill
Where is the time to do anything else?
Please notice the number of times ‘Chill’ has been mentioned. I am yet to unpack BTW – still living out of my carry-on luggage while the checked-in luggage has been neatly stowed in our walk-in wardrobe. Currently, my (borrowed) diary says ‘Resume keywords‘ on the left and ‘Things to buy‘ on the right. Efforts are being made to strike off items from both the lists with a success rate of 50%.

It’s been a sudden and a beautiful change for the both of us. As they say, Change is the only constant. I’ve surprised myself every day since the day I’ve received my passport with the stamped visa. Leaving the comfort of my parents was not easy. Leaving Visa was tough too – I have gone from working for 15 hours a day to not working at all; the first time in a decade. There’s always going to be a first time. As a partner and an ‘almost’ newly wed, I am psyched to be under the same roof as N. Can’t wait for the quarantine to get over with so that we can finally start our adventure outside of the 4 walls of our brand-new and extremely tech savvy apartment.

PS: This blog might turn into a travelogue, a cook-book and a sneak-peek into our relationship soon. More to come.

Of Desiderata

Date: 07/27/20
Author: Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

To beat the chaos, I was looking for a few inspirational words. I stumbled upon ‘Desiderata’ (Latin for ‘desired things’). Exactly what I was looking for! The poem is string of wise yet subtle words by the poet. Here’s the sense I made of it –

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Keep your calm when there’s chaos around you. You lose the game when you lose your calm. Being at peace is more important than winning the argument.
Despite the differences, be on good terms with everyone. If people want to be harsh, let them be. You control your behavior.
Be honest even if the truth hurts. Be mindful of how you speak (something I need to learn). Listen to everyone – age, status, stature, position don’t matter. Develop the ‘art of listening’.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

I’ve been wondering if the first sentence means ‘walking away’ from loud and aggressive people. Usually my mind shuts down when anyone starts yelling at me. I mentally walk away. That brings me peace. Wondering if that is the right thing to do. Probably not. Something that needs to be worked on.
No two people can be compared to each other. Everyone is unique in their own way. Everyone has been built in a certain way. Again, you never know what chapter of life they are on. I have never understood the term ‘rat race’. Life is not a race – it is a journey. I’ve never compared myself with others – maybe with the previous me. I am here to enjoy life – even the 12 AM work calls.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be actively involved in your career. If you don’t do what you love you’ll be forced to love what you do. Success is directly proportional to your passion and involvement in your career.
Beware of suggestions/tips from (not so)well-wishers. Not everyone will be happy at your success. Suggestions should be welcome but implementation of the those should be at your discretion.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

You can’t fake feelings. You can’t fake chemistry. Love will happen if and when it has to. When it’s right, you cannot walk away.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are your best teacher. There is a wealth of knowledge and enlightenment inside of you. Every time you have a question – look inside.
You are stronger than you think you are. Look back – you’ve surmounted unimaginable mountains. Let your spirit shield you from the negativity – even from within yourselves. You’ve not come so far, only to come this far.
Everyone makes mistakes – don’t be hard on yourself. Doesn’t mean let every mistake go. You’re fine as long as you make new ones.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

You are here because you are meant to be. You are here because it is written. You are here because you are destined to be.
None knows the bigger picture. When you feel restless, breathe. Keep calm. Trust that the universe is unfolding the bigger picture. Keep going. This too shall pass.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

I’ve always been at odds with the God. A few events in life had shaken my faith. I have only found faith 5 years later. I know this is not ideal. But now, i feel at peace. Whichever God you worship (if you do) – let the faith be. If you haven’t found faith yet – maybe some day faith will find you. If not, you never needed it at the first place.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Not every dream is fulfilled. It may be easy to break spirits. Bad things happen. Circumstances make you want to give up. Life looks like a bad idea. When this happens, make a list of all the positive things in your life. Be grateful for everything around you. Enjoy the joy of little things. Believe in the goodness of the universe. Most importantly, be happy.

The past few months have been rough for all of us. Being positive has been a tough job. Negative thoughts have been natural to even the most positive people we know. To beat the negativity, do things that make you happy. Try to change ‘not so ideal’ circumstances; if you cannot change them it is okay to walk away. Make peace. Be at peace. Remember, inner peace is more important. Fin.

Posting a happy picture of me –

What will be the new normal?

We all know life may/may not be the same once all this is over. The world has come to a standstill (the only movement being people visiting grocery stores and hospitals. Dark.). You and I have been forced out of our gyms, swimming pools, workplaces, shopping sprees; forced to give up on our favorite party/hangout places, even our favorite coffee shops. All for the one thing invisible to naked eye. The one who must not be named.

Every time my mother and I chill at our new hangout place (read: the ever cluttered dining table) we talk about things we would need to be equipped when we start commuting to work again (almost 2 hours each way). I have suggested the following –

We build a disinfectant tunnel in the staircase to disinfect every person and thing coming in and out of the house
We wear a space suit to and from work to protect ourselves from the outside world

From the way Aai was looking at me during this discussion I couldn’t say if she thought I was crazy or was considering my ideas.

On a different note, my father was courageous enough to visit D-mart one day. Never thought one would need ‘courage’ to visit a supermarket, did you?
Apparently, he had just missed the action. D-mart had opened the doors that day to a thousand eagerly waiting and angry shoppers. The D-mart authorities had to summon the police and ambulance to handle the stampede.

We have decided to shop online going forward – a big shift from roaming the aisles and judging every product you touch and see.

This made me think how my habits have changed/concerns one would have ever since the ‘one who must not be named’ started creating havoc.
1. I have never liked buying clothes online – despite having lived 10 ft away from Day One for quite some time. But buying clothes right now is important because –
(1) Most of my clothes are inappropriate to be worn at Visa. They’re very Seattle, Starbucks and NYC. Also, half of my wardrobe is in NYC.
(2) The material of the clothes is not suitable for Indian weather.
(3) The style is not acceptable/appropriate/suitable.
(4) Seattle summer clothes cannot be used in Indian summers and workplaces.
So, I ended up buying $300 worth stuff online. Of course, none of that got delivered because everything got locked down soon after I placed my order.

2. A visit to the bhajiwala was enough for me to not want to go again. There was no ‘social distancing’ anywhere. This made me think if we should buy frozen veggies instead. Hoarding would be the next option – buy enough to last at least for a couple weeks.

3. Visit to a (small sized) supermarket made me really furious. There was a long and socially-distanced queue to enter the supermarket (alright) but there was no social distancing inside! I bumped into 3 masked people.
What was the queue outside the supermarket for? Was it not to avoid the crowding inside? This made me wonder if kirana stores/online grocery deliveries would be better options.

4. Eating out is not an option (since everything is closed). I am skeptical about online food deliveries as well. Fomites have been a major contributor to the spread of pandemic. You never know who’s got it. You always hear about Delivery boys getting it – they’re so susceptible. You can never sanitize enough. Some of them claim ‘contactless deliveries’ but how contactless can it be?
Badly missing Pizzas and Pastas and everything else in between.

5. About commuting to work – most of us take multiple hours and several modes transport to reach work. I take an auto (3 to 5 passengers) – train (192928510 passengers) – auto (3 passengers) to work every day. The passenger count in bracket does not include people who I am in close contact with on train stations.
How am i supposed to do this going forward? HOW?!
I have a suggestion – maybe we can ‘fly’ to work like the Jetsons? Maybe we should seriously put our brainpower into developing a low-cost flying solution.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock (1660125a) The Jetsons (Ani Film and Television FULL COPY: http://www.rexfeatures.com/nanolink/le7r

6. Social distancing – This concept is going to be tougher in high-density areas/countries. I cannot imagine how one would maintain social-distance at train stations where there is usually a long queue to climb on and off the bridge. How to maintain distance in local trains where you can’t differentiate if the sweat on your body is yours or someone else’s?

A few more thoughts –
How safe would throwing parties be? Would you require every attendee to upload their test results when they RSVP?

How safe would pubs/clubs/bars be? Will they check your temperature to determine whether or not you are ‘safe’ to enter their bar? Will you now be carded for temperature and age both?
If yes, forget bar-hopping till we have a vaccine.

How safe would sharing food/drinks/smoke be?

How safe would traveling be in the future? Most of us want to travel the world! How will that look like now? Would you still be open to back-packing and living in hostels across Europe? How would group tours be like?

Will you feel safe to go to group classes – yoga/crossfit/dance/etc? Would people still go to morning walks and laughter clubs post lock down?

How will the GenX learn any more? Will online classes be the way to go? Will schools reduce the number of students in a classroom and run shifts to accommodate everyone for offline classes? How will the kids have fun at school? What about schools in the rural areas that may not be equipped to go online?

How will the workplaces handle it? Most of us travel at least a couple hours exposing ourselves to every kind of virus and bacteria to reach work. How safe will be for other people to be around us? What would team lunches and happy hours look like now?

How safe would dating be? It involves “meeting” unknown people.

How will festivals look like? How does one celebrate Diwali or Ganeshotsav without family/extended family/friends?

What about big fat weddings? I am willing to give up on the auxiliary parties but what about the actual wedding – haldi, mehendi, wedding, reception?

All this and more. We are living in unprecedented times and must take equally unprecedented measures to fight this. It will take some time for us to determine our new normal post the pandemic. The way we live, eat, drink, breathe, love, date, pray, travel, play, have fun is all about to change.

There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
C.S.Lewis

Life as we know it is about to change. Something fun to tell our grand-kids, huh? More to come…